If you don't know me by now....

Does it always seem like I'm always doing the same thing? I often wish that I would look at my schedule and see that tri training involves a cake pan or drink mixer. No, it doesn't. I've checked.

Memorial Day weekend. I slept, hung out with the kids and did a practice tri with the local club. The funny thing was that it didn't feel like such a big deal. It's kinda like getting into a shoving match at a yard sale vs. the cage match I was in last weekend. The weather was hot, it was about 90 degrees out so I welcomed the 500 yard pool swim. Made me feel refreshed like those women in the Activa  Dove commercials. The bike, yeah, it was brutal. The hills. The hills. AND DID I MENTION THE HILLS? The best part was the run. I still had legs under me which was a fabulous feeling. I wasn't slogging and we all know how that goes. The worst of the day was my eyes being soaked with salty sweat. You could flavor fries with my arm hair. That's so gross, why would you say that?  

My tri suit zipper broke. Not that anyone cares. So, instead, I wore my swimsuit and Underarmor shorts. I would love to throw all sense of modesty to the wind and race entirely in my swimsuit. I would need some sort of thigh reduction but I'm almost of the opinion, that if it gets hot enough outside, I'll race nearly naked. I read the rule book and naked "isn't acceptable" but they didn't say anything about a loin cloth. I just no longer care. I've seen some really hideous stuff and it just doesn't phase me anymore. 

A friend reminded me that I have approx 6 weeks left of training. Reality check. I've reached the "activity confused" portion where I'm not sure what to do anymore. I just swim, bike or run till an appendage feels like it might separate from the rest of my body. Funny, when I started my run yesterday when I got done biking, I noticed my IT Band started hurting really bad. I laughed out loud. Chuckled. I mean seriously? I will take my shoe and beat that tendon back into submission. It can stand in line and take a ticket behind my left shoulder and left hamstring. 

Abe Lincoln inspires and more photos!

“I am a success today because I had a friend who believed in me and I didn't have the heart to let him down...”


Abraham Lincoln - 






I was a success on Sunday because I had a few friends that believed in me. And no, I didn't have the heart to let them down. I might do all the training, sure, but it's my true friends and family that hold me together. Do you ever run a race, or compete in an event and know that someone out there in the world is wondering how you are? How you did, no matter if you're first or last? That's what Visa calls "priceless". 


Anyway, I'm forever in debt to my husband who puts up with massive amount of BS. My swim coach Susan who honestly believed that I could do it. I had ten kinds of crazy going on in my head but each time I wanted to lose it in front of spectators and fellow athletes, I kept it together and could hear her voice in my head telling me how to set the ship straight. And what melt down would be complete without an all out tear-filled call of anxiety to my friend Michael? Yes, I might be a total pansy but I'm human. A big human pansy. 


So, there's usually about a 20% chance of my liking my race pictures and normally after that, the percentage goes down from there as to whether or not I'll actually purchase one. The fat on my legs normally likes to make horrible faces at the camera. I have to be in a certain stride to look exceptional. I happen to like these. Sometimes I think I look like a manatee in my tri suit but this time my bravery precedes my looks...or lack there of. I bought one and plan to hang in it somewhere prominently in my home where I can be reminded of the moment where scared shitless meets determined. 

Finish. My new favorite word.

Oh boy. swear word. Freak out. Swear word. 

This is the moment where I feel so invincible that I would jump off a roof into a backyard pool.

Victoria's Secret will be calling soon. 

I hate my new bike helmet. I still look like ridiculous in it. I cleaned house wearing it to see if that would make me like it more. It didn't. 

True that woman wearing that shirt. True that. 

So tell me, who's waiting for you at the end of the training / racing rainbow?? 

First Olympic Triathlon Finish. Check.

Friday afternoon the bikes get racked and my husband, two boys and friend Ken, all load up and head to Tunica, MS for my first ever Olympic triathlon. It's called Memphis in May, named after the festival they have there every year and it's suppose to be a great event. Pro's, amateurs and people just like me. Anyway, I think the actual event use to be held in Memphis but then they moved it to a better venue in Tunica, MS at Harrah's Casino.

Anyway, here's what the swim looks like. You get in behind the hotel, swim all the way out, almost to the farthest point, then turn around and come back, swim, through that cove to the right of the hotel and get out where it says "transition area". That's 1640 yards. In layman's terms - holy shit, that's a long way. 

Here's what it looks like from the shore. See, that first red buoy? That's only 200 yards of the 1640 that needs to be swam. After we picked up our packet and race goodies we decided to put on our swim gear and head out for a dip in the lake to get the feel of the course. This was only my second time out swimming in a lake and I was feeling it mentally. It's was a very new feeling to me to be physically prepared but not mentally prepared. I was afraid but I knew that I could do it. It was gonna be ugly, BUT, it was gonna get done. I swam out 600 yards and felt overwhelmed, there's just no other way to say it. I came back to shore mad at myself and I knew that I had to spend the rest of the day getting my act together. I had come a long way and had spent over one gazillion hours training for this. I hate when I'm lame.

We spent the rest of Saturday making sure our bikes were in good order and pretty much just marinating. I was happy we had all evening to watch nothing but crap on tv and having my kids with me was a great diversion. I only had two mini breakdowns. One to my swim coach via text and the other was an extremely teary phone call to my friend Michael who came to my rescue. There is nothing so valuable in this world as having someone telling you that they believe in you and knowing that they mean it. I was just so nervous and that's really not like me. My husband laughed at me and reminded me that I acted the same way before my first half marathon. He was right. I think really what I needed was a cold margarita.

I tucked into bed and slept maybe three hours. 4:50 am came too soon and adrenaline had been coursing through me for way too many hours. Oddly enough, I woke up and was happy and had this sense of calm. I was more afraid of not doing it than getting out there and giving it my best, so with that, I pushed my bike into transition and proceeded to set up shop and get body marked.

Before I knew it, the race officials were calling for all swimmers to line up. Every three seconds they would put you in the water and away you went. My age group was second in line, better first than last I suppose. I wondered if my heart rate could be any higher? Here I was, I had my goggles on, standing at the edge of a boat dock, waiting. I hear "168 GO!" And in I went, racing heart and all. My breathing was out of whack so I did the breast stroke for a minute or so, then flipped over on my back for a minute, then flipped back over onto my belly and had a 20 second conversation with self. "Self, you need to knock it off and put your head down and SWIM! NOW!" And I did. I would pop up every few hundred yards to check and see what was going on around me, mostly at the turn buoys. I just didn't want to get run over. I swam and I swam and then I swam like I had a purpose. Each time I came up for air I would peek at the finish arch that lead to the bikes. It felt like forever but I made it. That boat ramp under my feet never felt so nice..... 39 minutes for the swim. 

Bike. Coming out of the water I felt like a drowned rat. My body felt like it had 10 of those x-ray vests laid over it. I knew if I could just get on my bike then I could rest and let me body recover some. They had warned us about high head winds and they were right. The first 10 miles of the 25 were brutal and my quads were a mess. I kept changing gears to find a comfy spot but couldn't. My job was to pedal. Period. All the while I'm getting passed by people on these 5K dollar bikes. I wondered how they could ride so fast? After 10 miles I decided I had to come up with a new tactic. I noticed they would travel in groups, these men and women. Drafting is illegal but they would use another version of it to propel themselves. So, when they would come up and say "on your left" I would ride out and get behind them and chase them till I got dropped. Then I would wait for the next "on your left". I did this for 15 more miles. Bike time was 1:19 for 25 miles. Averaged 18.5 mph. That's my fastest ride ever. 

As I racked my bike and slipped into my shoes, I noticed that I had two problems on my hands. I had to pee, my bladder was killing me and it was hot. 90 degrees hot. No shade hot. I could feel the swim and bike catching up with me. I took off out of transition and felt like I was gonna pee all over myself. It hurt. I looked for some shrubs and there were none. We were in this wide open area where you could see runners all over the place. I slowed to a jog and decided that the next 6 miles were gonna be ugly unless I could find a porta potty or small bush to hide behind. Finally, at mile 1.5 I found a porta potty. After what seemed like 10 minutes of getting out of my ball gown and back into it, I came out, downed a huge cup of ice cold Gatorade and commenced the out and back slog of a 10K on black pavement in 90 degrees. You could see the look of anguish on people's faces. I have to say that the race directors did an AMAZING job of taking care of us. They had set up multiple sprinkler systems on the course and had ICE at each water stop that we could do with as we chose. When I got mile 4 I passed a girl who had passed me on the bike. She was walking but was doing something funny with her hands. I got about 30 yards out and my gut told me to go back to her. I stopped turned around and went to walk with her. I asked her if she was ok and she said no.She said that she was cramping really bad. I gave her my last salt tablet and packet of GU. She downed them both like she had been stuck in the desert for a week solid.  I took off and proceeded to sing songs in my head till I made it to the finish line. 2 miles never seemed so far. I have to admit, I'm not a puker but with .20 miles left to go, I had to fight back the urge to let go all over the sidewalk. I could see my husband ringing the cowbell and waving me home. All I could think was "please don't let me barf on my husband". 

I crossed the finish in 3:11. I was greeted by a woman who draped my medal over my head, another who took the chip off my ankle and another who wrapped an ice cold towel over my head. How's that for service??? Two steps later I was handed a tall glass of ice water. In my age group I was 26th out of 34. 

I learned so much about myself. I wish I could sit here and tell you that I'm this amazing athlete who goes out and just hammers the age group but I can't. I'm such a work in progress. I can tell you ten things that I need to figure out still. What I do know is that I love it! On the ride home yesterday in the car I would get big tears in my eyes thinking about what I had to do to put my fears behind me to get through that race. And just do it. 

The slowest 5K ever was probably the best 5K ever

Back in 2008 was when I began running again. Three kids and 100 lbs later I was a hot mess in the even hotter mess state of Florida. You can simply jog slowly in Florida and be in  incredible shape for running anywhere else in the continental U.S. I remember how I would take to the local track for speed work and remember as clear as a silver spring, coming home one late afternoon, skipping through the kitchen, regaling anyone who would listen with a story about how I ran my first 12 minute mile. I sit here and smile as I write this. I was training for a 5K and I was getting down to business!

It was about a week later on race day and of course it was 200% humidity with a 100% chance of sunburn when we all gathered at the starting line. I sized up the competition because it was obvious that I wasn't part of it. Women in bikini running gear, men in brightly colored track shoes. Me? I was in a beat up, stained, Reebok cotton shirt. Nonetheless, I was beginning MY journey. I think it's strange sometimes how I've forgotten half of what I've seen in half-marathons and marathons but yet I vividly remember almost every step I took in that 5K.

It took me 41 minutes and 36 seconds to make it to the finish line. I was exhausted and I don't ever think I stopped to walk. I went home and checked the computer for the results immediately! You know how we do it! Just keep checking back compulsively. I'm not sure why I was so interested but when the results were in I had beaten 2 people in my age group. And that was good enough for me. I had tried so hard and that's all that mattered.

Not until I went on my open water swim the other day did I have that same feeling come back to me. Of knowing that I have this incredible person inside of me that has the potential to be ANYTHING and achieve ANYTHING! I probably won't be first and I might be closer to last this weekend in my Olympic tri BUT there's so much room to dream big and improve in the middle.

I probably won't blog again till I come back from the Memphis in May triathlon this weekend so wish me luck. It's a really big deal. It's just like running my first half-marathon all over again. Lots of nerves but I know I'll be fine. The weather is suppose to be a chilled 90 degrees so my goal is to not pass out or soil my pants...err, I mean tri suit.

Love you guys and thanks for all the comments! You make me laugh and smile!

We have nothing to fear but fear itself

One of the biggest remaining pieces to my training puzzle that needed to be put into place before this coming weekend's Olympic triathlon was the open water swim. I wish I had a nickel for the amount of times I've heard someone tell me a horror story about someone who went into an open water swim and wasn't prepared mentally. I knew I didn't want that to be me. In the confines of the pool, everything is so pristine, clear and safe. Once out in the big wide world of lakes and oceans, things tend to become more complicated. At least for me anyway.

For awhile now, all I've had my mind on is getting out in a lake and swimming. The problem is that I didn't want to go alone. It's always best to have company and someone to rescue you! My friend Andrea and her husband Steve, graciously offered to take my husband and I down to Cave Run Lake for my first ever "open water" swim.   I was super nervous and excited. I had no idea what to expect. I'm good at swimming but I also have an overactive imagination. My mind often places irrational things into situations. Like killer whales in ponds. Anyway....

After spraying ourselves down with PAM, the non stick cooking spray, we wiggled into our wetsuits and waded out into the warm water. It was about 72 and felt perfect. We were neck deep and it was time to swim. Andrea took off like it was so easy. I put my face down and popped right back up. I wasn't use to looking down and not being able to see A THING. It was dark and green. My brain just needed time to process the situation. So, I popped back up and moved my way out to the first buoy. Head out of water.

Second try, I asked Steve if he would get beside me with his kayak and paddle next to me while I swam. I have no idea what it was but I thought I would be more comfortable with someone next to me. And it was. I made it halfway to the second buoy swimming with my face down into the green abyss. Major progress. From the second buoy out to the third I made it the entire way swimming. I still wasn't 100% comfortable but I just kept telling myself that this is what I came here for, to not be a pansy and get it together.

From the third buoy we decided to return back to shore. It was about a half mile back at that point. The waves were starting to pick up from the wind and boats and it was truly a challenge to keep on course. Each time I would come up for air, a wave would knock me off stride a little. I would bury my head deeper into the water and try and go under the waves. I'm not sure it worked but I did finally make it back to shore. That's always a positive.

I was so proud of myself. A major life hurdle and I jumped it! I've had some seriously bad water experiences in my life so this was a really big deal for me. As we climbed out of the shore and onto the bank, Andrea looked at me and said "ok, now imagine getting on your bike". I had to laugh. Here I was all sloshed around in a lake and the thought of hopping on my bike for 56 miles made me laugh. Oh yeah, then followed by a half marathon! I swear I love every minute of this.

When small dogs attack!

Today I was going to write about my new adventures in running with a heart rate monitor. On my Wednesday night bike ride I had two separate occasions when I thought my heart was going to explode or stab my lungs with it's big heart fist so I've decided that I'm going to heart rate monitor train on the bike and run, at least for awhile anyway. I don't think that anything's really wrong, I just wanna be smart, because usually I'm not.

Anyway, so last night I wanted to run 6 miles. It was beautiful out! By far the best day weather-wise we've had all year. So, I stood out in the driveway and synced (this a word?) up all my gadgets. Sometimes I think that I could work at NASA after conquering the intricacies of the ever mysterious Garmin. Plus, I've already located the satellites. Will sound impressive on a resume nonetheless.

My normal routine is a four mile loop on the farm where I live. It's all private roads and two other families live in this area. I don't usually carry water because I can find it in a hose or I always end up back at home. So, the first 4 were completely uneventful. My neck is a bit stiff from watching my heart rate on my watch every 5 minutes but other than that, no worse for wear.

"I will rip your frigging leg off amigo"

So, I get back home, grab a glass of water and I'm greeted by my bad dog Bogie who's wagging his tale at me and smiling that dog smile. He wants to go too! With my best four-legged friend at my side, we head off back down the farm road when about 3/4 of a mile in, I see this black and white streak come barreling at my feet and legs, barking like a lunatic. My heart almost jumped out of my chest. I should have checked my Garmin to see what dog attack mode registers?? Anyway, I froze. Aren't runners suppose to run? I just stood there. And in that moment the only thing I new to do was yell "HELP ME BOGIE!"

Bogie pricked his ears and came running to put himself between me and the attack terrier. Now, I knew that these (yes there's another to insert into story) dogs bit because they've taken a chunk out of my friends leg before while she was running. It's just that they're so small, you wouldn't think they could do much damage. Wrong. Cujo took off after Bogie and he was mortified. In his mind all dogs love and play together. At this moment I hear the owner start screeching for her dog to "get back here now, you hear!?". Red, soooo red. Bogie high tails it back to me after shaking off the yard demon WHEN ATTACK DOG #2 COMES AT ME!

 The f'ing Taco Bell dog and doesn't have a Mexican tostada either.

Rabid as a run-over racoon, this thing comes barreling at me like a wild monkey. Barking, teeth bared. The dog somehow misses the edge of my leg and takes off after Bogie. My poor dog gets chased for about a quarter of a mile. He looked mortified! I felt horrible for him. Bogie's a pit bull mix and was being chased by something the size of a sewer rat. You could see he was freaked out. The owner the whole while is yelling at the top of her lungs to retrieve her spawn. I wish I would have taken a picture of her. What a winner she is. 

The entire episode took about 3 minutes. I've never had two dogs come at me and once and frankly could go the rest of my life without ever having that happen again. After the assassins returned to their lair, Bogie took off in front of me, constantly looking back to see if we were in peril or if it was safe to head home. 

 Do you run with a heart rate monitor?

Have you been attacked by a sewer rat? Was the owner a piece of sh*t?

 

Flying Pig Half Marathon - We're Big Pigs!

What's my favorite thing in the entire running world?? Being with my friends. My first ever follower was Michael who also happened to be the winner of my first ever blog giveaway! We just kinda hit it off and she soon became one of my very best friends even though we hardly ever get to see each other! She's in Missouri and I'm in KY. Frown. The good news is, she's only a text away if I've fallen off my bike and scraped up my gorgeous face or had a crappy run. We're both training for a our first 70.3 and I know when I cross that finish line that I'll owe her a huge thank you for encouraging me on when I wanted to just melt into a puddle some days.

Anyway, for months I've been excited about us getting to run the Flying Pig Half Marathon together! We haven't had a race since the Mo' Cowbell back in October and that seems like it's been forever ago. Maybe it's good that we live farther away. I can't imagine the shenanigans we would be up to if we lived closer. She and her husband Jim both came to Cincy and as you can see, we made the expo our .....

See that lady in the background?? She asked that I take "only one". One toothbrush? Try 7 amiga. Why would Proctor and Gamble want to deny me clean teeth? Plus, see all those brushes!!? They're all SOFT!! Good thing I work out. I'll have to scrub twice as hard.

When someone is in costume, they are fair game. Bear behinds are incredibly soft by the way. We were disappointed that there was no Charmin toilet paper shreds stuck to his tush. Thanks Proctor and Gamble for the cool bear! It totally made up for getting yelled at over the toothbrushes.

Jim, Michael and Me. 14 hours till race time! Just a side note... when you run in 80+ degree heat, it often feels as if everything you do could take 14+ hours.

 It's 5 am, do you know where the pre race dance party is?? Yeah, 6th floor hotel hallway is where it's AT!
We had seen The Avengers the night before so I was doing my best Hulk impression.

When I smile, I go big or I go home. Obviously, I went big! I was all psyched up for our race!

Race report - 


Weather - Hot and Humid
Finish Time - 2:30
Fun Meter - Defcon 1 (that's a nuclear blast of joy)


Michael and I decided, as the race began that we were gonna hang back and use the porta pottys. I've never experienced this before but we were literally the last people to start a 20K person marathon. It was kinda cool actually. We spent the entire race working our way through people. The odd part was that we never felt too crowded. If you've never run this race, YOU SHOULD! The crowd support, race, water stops, EVERYTHING is like a well-oiled machine. It's a hilly one, but oh so worth it!! We talked a lot and enjoyed laughing at signs and people dressed up. We stopped at almost every water station and just enjoyed the day. I had some weird stomach thing going on so I was happy that we weren't going all out.

After all was said and done, we got our medals and hoofed it 8 city blocks to my car. I had to take Michael back to her hotel and say goodbye. Such a bummer. She had a super long drive home so I felt bad that she had to be cooped up in a car for 9 hours. Plus, we had our arms full of post race food so it made the walk more interesting. I'm talking chip bags flying everywhere.

So, next stop is my first Olympic distance triathlon in 2 weeks. I'm nervous of course but then again, if I weren't then I'd be worried.